A few years ago I had a great idea. I would write a book.
So I did what you do when you want to write a book: I developed an outline and started making notes. But when I set a schedule to write, my Inner Bully piped up and placed Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt (FUD) in my mind. I began to skip my writing time promising myself I would do it later in the day. That never happened. I questioned whether anyone would ever read the book. I wondered how I could call myself an expert when I was still struggling with my own worthiness.
As time went on, the idea fizzled. The book sat dormant.
Why? I was circling the unworthiness cycle—where great ideas begin, but die on the vine.
I learned that it was super easy for the Unworthiness Cycle to become my uncomfortable comfort zone. That’s what happens: It is uncomfortable because you don’t really like that your ideas fizzle. But it’s a comfort zone because even though the ending is not what you want, you know how it will end —it’s familiar.
The next time I got the great idea to write my book, I knew what to expect, so I consciously chose the Worthiness Cycle.
When my Inner Bully started to chime in with FUD, I said, “Thank you for stopping by. I hear your concerns and I know you are trying to protect me. I got this! Your new role is observer instead of protector.”
I chose differently so I could get different results. I listened to my Inner Wise Woman as she encouraged and supported me to take my idea and make it real. Instead of blowing by my writing time, I actually sat down at the allotted time (4 am!) and wrote. I believed the right people would read the book. I reminded myself that I am an expert in this journey from Unworthiness to Worthiness and have much success to share as well as valuable tips and tools for others to use. Taking these steps kept my book alive and moving forward. And today I’m thrilled that I’ve finished my book and sent it off to the publisher.
How do you know if you are circling the Unworthiness Cycle? Below are some telltale signs, symptoms, and behaviors. As you read through these, think about where these might show up in your own life.
You’ll know you’re in the Unworthiness Cycle if you:
• Play the “When I…” game: “When I lose 10 pounds I will be happy.”
• Get stuck in perfectionism.
• Lack self-confidence and self-love.
• Are often disappointed in yourself or overwhelmed.
• Listen to the negative self-talk from your Inner Bully
If you’re just discovering you’re living in the Unworthiness Cycle, take heart. Things can change! But the only way to get different results is to do something different—and that takes courage. My upcoming book You Are Worthy! Even When You Believe Otherwise shares how you learned unworthiness and how to unlearn it so you can get the results you desire.
Curious to learn more in the meantime? Click here to take a quick, “Are you a Worthiness Warrior Test” and see where you fall on the scale.