Have you ever had lunch with a dramatic friend that left you feeling like you had the life sucked right out of you? Me too and I always feel like I need to go home and take a nap to recover.
Drama surrounds us. The news has become sensationalized drama. TV dramas do the same thing. I know that drama surrounds me and I get to choose whether I am going to participate or not.
Drama is energy zapping, unproductive and in today’s world it is used to steer people away from the real issues at hand. People get caught up in the drama and forget to look at just the facts when dealing with situations.
How do you know if you are caught up in the drama of a situation? I know that when I get emotionally charged or react with a raised voice I am caught up in the drama and missing the real important points. When I react that way it raises my blood pressure, uses valuable energy and tires me quickly.
I have been in corporate meetings where it is obvious that each person had a personal agenda. For example: let’s say you are a project manager (PM) on a mission critical project. As the PM your goal is to make sure the project comes in on time, within budget and meets the mission critical goals. Along the way, other people get involved and want to start adding functionality that is not mission critical which would in turn impact the deadline of the project.
In a meeting, people will get emotional about their viewpoints to try and sway people to their side. This is a sign to step back, remove all the drama and look at just the facts of the situation. It is really pretty simple in a project when it comes to adding functionality. Does it fit within the mission critical goals or not? There is no drama or emotion needed to answer that question.
Do you remember math word problems in elementary school? I hated those because they were always putting in information that was irrelevant to the actual problem I was trying to solve. I call that unnecessary drama verbiage that tried to steer the student (me) away from the real problem.
Drama was originally meant for the stage or fiction books that would stir your imagination and entertain you for a short period of time. I don’t think it was meant to be a way of living life. People who live dramatic lives tire quickly, anger easily and tend to be unhappy. If this is you and this is not how you want to feel, you can easily change it just by deciding you don’t want to feel like that anymore. When you give up drama you become energetic, peaceful and happy.
3 ways to leave drama behind:
1. Turn off the news and drama TV
The news has become the master at creating sensationalized drama. It is designed to ask people to take sides in a story and to stir the emotional pot of the world. They focus on reporting a portion of the facts that more often than not are negative. 15 years ago I had a minister that recommended that I turn the news off for 14 days and see how it impacted my life. It was life enhancing for me and I have never looked back.
When a tragedy occurs in the world, it becomes the focus of the news. Yet, on that very same day, thousands of people found out they were cancer free, thousands of people received promotions, thousands of new babies were born, thousands of people received their diplomas. My point being, why does one tragedy wipe out so many happy events that happened in the world that same day?
Drama TV is the same. It focuses on how to treat people poorly, get charged up about things, asks people to take sides and adds unnecessary information to any situation.
Remove dramatic people from your life. I know that can be difficult if they are family, but you can limit the amount of time you spend with them. When I looked at my circle of friends, I realized that I had a lot of dramatic friends. Other people are our mirrors which means if they are dramatic I must also be dramatic. Just by removing myself from that circle and choosing to be calm and undramatic my energy level went up 10 fold. Drama never solves anything – it just zaps my energy and takes my focus away from what really matters.
3. Choose a mantra
When I am around dramatic people I use a mantra to help me avoid getting sucked into their drama. The one I use the most is the ‘love mantra’. When people start getting emotional and raising their voices in dramatic ways, inside my mind I say, “love, love, love” over and over. It reminds me to surround the situation with love and compassion and listen to just the facts. With my mantra I can separate the facts from the dramatic emotions and stay calm. A side benefit to my love mantra is that other people will begin to calm down because it impacts the energy of everyone in the room.
There is a place for dramatic people. It is on the entertainment stage. Not to be confused with the life stage. You will always get more of what you focus on. Choose to focus on the goodness, the positive, the facts and watch the drama in your life disappear. If you want to be energetic, peaceful and calm, create a drama-free zone in your own life.
If you are sick and tired of living in the ‘Drama Zone’ and desire to live a ‘Drama Free’ life you love, contact me and let’s talk.